In class last week we discussed the importance of distinguishing between “the real you” and “the role you”, as Mattson puts it. The real you is who you are as a person; your identity and self-worth. On the other hand, the role you is defined by your performance in a role or a function you deliver in a relational context. It is possible to fail functionally, but it is important to understand that that specific failure does not diminish who you are as a person. Many people become caught up in the blending of these two distinctive features. One of the biggest mistakes salespeople can make is to have an overwhelming sense of defeat overcome them when a sale does not go as well as planned. This is very dangerous, because one will quickly begin to judge their self-worth based off of how many sales conversations end well. In addition, rejection of sales proposals will become personal, and feel as though the client is personally rejecting you the individual as a salesperson as opposed to simply saying no to the particular product being offered. It is important, as salesmen, to be sure to clearly distinguish between “the real you” and “the role you” early on in your career in order to stay strong and not feel discouraged.
BoweryJE22 4 thoughts on “The Real You vs. The Role You”
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This topic was extremely relevant to me! Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing between the real me vs. the role me when I failed, which is exactly what the book talks about. I think it is so easy to get down on yourself for issues with the “role you” and I feel as though a lot of people attack the “real you” with “role you” problems and that’s when people really feel badly about themselves and discredit their accomplishments.
Great point here. I think this is important to remember as being able to accept rejection and still turning something postitive out of it is vital in a sales role. Maybe the person says no because you don’t have the exact product they are looking for. Rather than pouting or being overwhelmed, saying something like “Well, Mr. Smith, if we happen to get that product, I will definitely remmeber to reach out to you,” keeps the door for a future sale open. Additionally, not taking failures personally allows for you to learn from mistakes and grow as a salesperson.
I think that this point is often overlooked in the business world and even overlooked in the education system. Society tends to trick you into believing that your worth is defined by the grades on your report card, what college you get into, what job you get, and how well you do your job. It is very important to separate the real you and the role you because no matter who you are, you are going to fail and you will have a very difficult time leading a full life if you only focus on your failures and valuing your role self over your real self.
I had never really thought about the difference between the real me and the role me until this class. I’m glad that I have now thought about it because it is something that I sometimes don’t differentiate well and that I should be working on.