We’ve all heard of (or experienced) the mall kiosk salesman. You know, that guy at the mall who really, really wants you to try his perfume. Do not make eye contact. Do not speak to him. Absolutely do not stop, and you might get away.
Unfortunately (for you. Fortunately for me) I don’t have any kiosk salesman stories. BUT. I was at Costco over spring break, where I discovered that kiosk guy apparently has a distant cousin.
Let me set the scene: My mom and I are at Costco for some basic groceries. It’s midafternoon. The store has a healthy bustle to it, but it’s certainly not crowded. We’ve walked almost to the back of the store; past the TVs and home appliances, past the giant shelves of wholesale goods, on our way to the refrigerator section where we can check off one of the last items on the list: butter. But to get to our destination, we have to walk by something else.
Hot tubs.
We do not have a hot tub. We have never had a hot tub. I do not have reason to believe that we will ever get a hot tub in the future. But, my mom has apparently turned into a hot tub fan in the time I’ve been away, so we stop and take a look. It won’t take long. WRONG. First mistake.
There are about three hot tubs right there on the Costco floor, in between us and our butter goal. There’s a guy in an unassuming sweatshirt looking as well; he’s probably not important. WRONG AGAIN. Second mistake.
I only realize my mistakes when the guy opens his mouth and says, “You looking for a hot tub?”
I then watch in horror as my mom commits the three sales sins: she makes eye contact, she smiles, and she starts making conversation. Three strikes; we’re out.
The conversation goes something like this:
My mom: “I wish. I’d love one but my husband’s not sold on the idea. And these are pretty pricey.” (okay… now we walk away)
Salesman: “I see. Well these aren’t the only models we have! There’s multiple colors and sizes and [more hot tub-y features]!” (please stop talking to us)
My mom: (polite hum of agreement) (She’s not following me in the away direction)
Salesman: “We actually work directly with the retailer, a local place here in KC. It’s great; they do all the repairs and everything. You actually get a warranty through them…” (he keeps going about… hot tub things)
After a couple more feature pitches and some pleasantries are exchanged, we finally get out of there unscathed as he moves onto his next victim.
But it did get me thinking about sales. That guy wasn’t really interested in if my mom was interested or not, or what exactly she was looking for—he was just looking for anyone to pitch to, and most of those people are just people trying to get groceries. Not a great sales plan, methinks.
francesallen 
Jonnojr 
lodicosg23
This is my favorite blog post ever. Absolutely riveting. I was on the edge of my seat. This is art.
The good news is, you survived this encounter and we are very proud of you for sharing your experience. Nice post!
I am very curious if this man sells any hot tubs at all?! After all we are learning in class, it is very interesting to analyze these sorts of situations!
This is an excellent example of how NOT to sell to someone. When he didn’t take the time to understand your wants and needs for a hot tub, or get to know you at all, he was unable to do much more than strictly pitch to you.
Did he try to say one of them was a Hot Tub Time Machine? In all seriousness I think this is one of those experiences we default to when we think of sales our Costco has a guy just like this that sells washers or furnaces or something and BJ’s has roaming AT&T reps who make your Costco guy seem tame.