In efforts to keep your prospect engaged in your conversation (rather than them thinking of ways to get away from this person), you can learn to match their non-verbal patterns.

While many of us have heard of mirroring, according to Jordan Belfort, matching is significantly more effective as it is more natural.

Mirroring

Immediately taking the same action as another person, and as you can imagine is very easy to pick up on. Your prospect will be wondering, “did they just copy me?”

Matching

Involving a delay, naturally adjusting to some of the prospect’s actions. It is important to only do this up to a certain point, but it allows you to build and strengthen rapport with your prospect. By making them more comfortable (we instinctively like people that are like us), you can then lead them in a direction that you want to go.

As young children, we learn to match other people’s behavior, often “rubbing-off” on each other. If you have ever seen a group of children talking, you will notice their voices get louder and louder, which is because they are in rapport and have that energetic connection with one another. As adults, we retain these unconscious skills. When placed in the awkward situation of first meeting someone, it is awkward because rapport has not yet been built.

By subtly matching a prospect’s behavior, breathing, the words that they use, their tone of voice, and pace… you defuse the situation and “break the ice”.

By Cameron Suorsa

Entrepreneur, Student, and Intern.

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