Someone tell Elise she is in this post

My uncle has always said so much of life is sales. I tend to agree with him.

In sales, you do not want to waste your time selling to someone who has no interest in what you offer. The same goes for relationships. Attraction is that first “yes” someone gives you whether it’s a potential customer agreeing to hear your pitch or someone agreeing to a first date. It’s the way you present yourself that determines whether someone wants to keep talking to you.

For example, take Professor Sweet and Elise’s little exchange about the pencil the other day. Professor Sweet expressed genuine curiosity about Elise and her summer job opportunities and expertly navigated the conversation from asking how she gets her work done to the what kind of tools she uses to document her progress. Only then did he bring up the pencil. Though Elise said she wouldn’t buy one today, you know that when the time comes and she needs a pencil, Professor Sweet is the first person she’ll think of.

Another thing I’ve noticed, is that people don’t want to be “sold to”- they want to feel understood. The best salespeople don’t dominate the conversation; they ask the right questions and listen. This is just as crucial in relationships- the friends that you have the deepest connection with are those who you have taken the time to listen to and they to you. People want to be valued, not just impressed- whether it’s a friend, a teammate, etc.

In business, when a potential customer hesitates, they’re not necessarily saying “no.” They might need more information or reassurance.  Think about a time you hesitated to make a big purchase– maybe a car or car insurance, etc. — only to have a salesperson push instead of helping you think it through. A good friend of mine actually had this happen to her in Italy once – a slightly crazed Italian lady, who was so determined that my friend walk out of the store having bought something, aggressively put a dress over my friend’s head on top of her clothes, as my friend stood there in shock). That being said, a good salesperson doesn’t get pushy or defensive of their product- they lean in with empathy and patience. With regard to relationships, sometimes what feels like hesitation or distance isn’t rejection- it’s someone working through their own questions, fears, or goals. Like Coach said in class the other day, there are three parties in every sales interaction- the seller, the product, and most importantly, the buyer.

Closing a deal isn’t the end of the sales process- it’s the beginning of a long-term relationship. Think of some of your favorite brands- Apple, Nike, Cheerios, etc. They don’t just sell and disappear- they follow up and build loyalty to their brand. Apple users anticipate new products or updates are coming out; Nike fans, the newest colors, styles; Cheerio lovers, the newest flavors! The parallel in relationships is continuing to show up and make the person feel as though they made the right choice in trusting you. Think of your friends- maybe the ones back home who you don’t see as often since moving away to college- it takes effort to maintain your relationship with them- at the very least, they need to know you still care about how they’re doing.

Finally, the best relationships, like the best businesses, are built on authenticity. The most effective sales strategies aren’t about tricking people into buying (slapping the imaginary flies on your face)– they’re about offering real value. The same is true in relationships– people want their strengths to be seen and valued, and to be chosen for who they are. And in return, they will do the same. This openness can help determine if a product or person are the right fit and if trust can be well placed. Both scenarios, sales and relationships, require time to tell.