Do you enjoy causing problems in your spare time? Or perhaps pushing people’s buttons is your life mission. They say that the sky is the limit, so go big or go home! Google, here we come!
1. Cloak like there’s no tomorrow
Nobody likes finding out that the wool has been pulled over their eyes, no less Google! Make sure to show Google bots and the user completely different content. The less similar, the better! Bonus points if you hide text by putting it behind images, making it the same color as the background, or setting font size to zero.
2. Keyword stuff spam like it’s Thanksgiving dinner
The more the better! Fill your website (including headers and footers) to the brim with hot topic keywords and everything controversial. Bonus points if structure is nonexistent and your content is so mechanical that it hurts to read, even for the bots!
3. The best internet journey is into the unknown
Who cares about relevance in links? Add as many as you can, no matter where they lead! McDonalds, fishing, dentures on Amazon, got to add them all! Make sure to get spammy/shady sites too! Bonus points if you join affiliate programs and get their products sprinkled in the mix too.
4. More door!
Make as many pages as you can that are the same but with slightly different keywords. Make Sauron proud!
5. Ads
Ads can be annoying, so put as many in your website as you can
6. Keep them guessing
Take those title tags and fill them with gibberish. Example: Wall paint Roller Firetruck red Brush Dump truck Rare Whales
7. The Holy Grail of Content
Plagiarism! Why make content if you can steal form someone else? Not only will this save you time in annoying Google, but you can also waste their time and money on a lawsuit!
Remember: You shouldn’t be doing this.
You shouldn’t want your website to be banned, or to try and exploit Google. It causes harm to many sites’ reputations, wastes users’ time, and eats up Google’s resources. And above all of this, it costs you your integrity. This post is all in good fun to tell you what NOT to do. To learn more about SEO practices you should avoid, go to CyberOptic.com.
3 Responses
I enjoyed your use of creative and engaging titles throughout this post! I also like how you included the reminder at the end to avoid trying to exploit Google, since it causes harm to site reputations, users, and Google.
This blog post was really engaging, so that’s one way of doing SEO right haha! I like the reminder at the end that these are not good practices, because it emphasizes the SEO practice of making our content very clear and understandable for any user.
This post was so funny! I liked how engaging and humorous it was with your language as well as the subtitles! Overall really enjoyed the read and loved the creativity of it.