All’s fair in Love and Sales – blog post #5

You’ve probably seen the sharply focused eyes of somebody deeply engrossed in conversation. Perhaps you’ve heard the near-silent foot taping of someone who would rather be anywhere else except this current verbal exchange. Nowhere are these signs more evident than the two worlds where money, status, and opinion matter most, the worlds of Business and Love. They are ruthless worlds where one small mistake can cost you the deal, or the date. Perhaps looking at one world will help us learn about the other.

Just like a potential customer, a potential date does not start by knowing they are a potential date. Sounds creepy, but it’s true. Maybe they’re searching for their special someone like a computer company searches for an I.T. specialist (A.K.A desperately and indiscriminately). Perhaps they don’t think they need anyone. Your job in either case is to convince them to go with you. Anyone with dating experience will be able to tell you, however, that you don’t just walk up to someone and go “Listen, I’m the best you’re going to get, pick me.”

This person doesn’t want your resume! You need to treat the person you’re talking to like a human being. Your clients aren’t piles of cash, and your love interest isn’t just a pretty face to be won. People want to know that they’re cared for. That could be a corporate executive wanting reassurances that you offer refunds of damaged products, or it could be your potential spouse wanting reassurances you put on deodorant on a regular basis.

That’s where everything you’ve learned as a salesperson comes into play. First, making claims about yourself is just as bad as pitching your product before asking any questions. What would happen if someone walked up to you and said, “You know, I’m more attractive than anybody else in this classroom.” Instead start with your questions. In dating it might be, “What’s your favorite movie?” In sales it might be “What’s your favorite part of the business?” Then shut up and listen to what they have to say. If they see that you genuinely care about what they think, they’ll start to trust you.

Next, make sure you’re correctly reading your valued customer (or valentine). If they’re hurried, ask if there’s a better time. If they sit down and seem interested, ask more questions. If they seem disinterested, maybe you aren’t the one for them. See if there’s a fit. Do not waste your time on sales (or relationships) that won’t work out. If there seems to be a fit, move to the final stage.

Set up a follow up. I hope this is common sense in dating. Can you even ask someone out without getting their number? But all too often in business we fail to get our client’s numbers (figuratively or literally). How are you supposed to having a meaningful, long-term relationship with someone (No matter who they are) if you don’t continue to show interest after the initial meeting. Selling to a client and failing to follow up is like asking someone on a wonderful first date and then ghosting them. There are questions left unanswered and resentment left to fester. A significant other might break up with you, a business partner may swear to never buy from you again.

Do I believe that Business and Love are the same thing? No! But two fields where all too often personal relationships break down into fights over money and property? It’s hard not to see certain similarities. Indeed, everywhere you look personal relationships could greatly benefit from sales techniques. The key is to remember that these techniques are not meant to manipulate their targets, but to elevate them. So instead of viewing clients or crushes as challenges to be conquered, see them as fellow humans who have a problem you might have the tools to solve.