Over the past spring break, I was hanging out with a bunch of the 20-somethings from my church at a local restaurant. It had been a couple months since I had been around because of school, so there were several people that I don’t know. I was just sitting at a table with a couple of other guys when the rest of the crew showed up, including a young woman that I had never met before. I won’t lie. I thought she was pretty dang cute. Naturally, I start trying to chat her up and get to know her a little bit, and, naturally, she wasn’t having any of it. I thought “alright, shot my shot” and then we all sat and talked for a while. There were about eight of us at the table and we were all talking and having a good time when I asked to see the quote that was on her lock screen. It was something about trusting God in the midst of anxiety, and she said “I’m just going through some hard stuff right now and it’s a good reminder.” I asked her if she wanted to talk about what she had going on, and she shared with me that her husband left her about a month ago. Here’s a twenty-four year old woman who thought she knew where her life was going, and it turns out that everything was going sideways. Over the course of the past week, we got together for lunch and spent time with the rest of our young adults ministry, and it’s been awesome to see the way God is working on her heart.
So, what does that have to do with sales? When initially approaching her, I had no clue about her emotional state for this lunch. Social interaction is pretty taxing on her, and she didn’t know anyone at our table. She was already tired from a bad night of sleep, a major cause of which was missing one more warm body that’s typically in the bed at night. Then add on to that the emotional drain of her situation with her husband. Put yourself in those shoes, and imagine a cocky, happy-go-lucky, 21-year-old punk making corny jokes and asking you tons of questions about yourself. I can understand why she wasn’t super interested. After talking for a little while, the tone of our interactions completely changed, and I discovered where her heart was. I was trying to sell myself as a romantic potentiality, when what she needed was to be sold on a person who is trustworthy, caring, and ready to listen. When we sell products and services, we can only adjust so much before we can’t offer solutions to the problems others are experiencing. But when it comes to selling ourselves, we need to be shapeshifters that meld themselves into whatever people need. We need to be all things to all people, and that’s really hard, but, man, it’s rewarding to meet people’s needs. I know this is just a sales class, but there’s something about a transaction-free sale of self for the sake of another that brings redemptive beauty and shares love in such a powerful way.
BoweryJE22
I wouldn’t call this a stretch at all, in fact, I think it’s a great example of selling oneself and building rapport. Initially, you trying to sell yourself before building any rapport and it didn’t work out too well. Once you ditched the idea of trying to sell yourself and focused on conversing with her, you built a better reputation. Great writing.
I think this definitely does have a connection to sales. But even putting that aside, it’s a good reminder that we rarely see what someone is truly thinking or feeling. Even when we strike up a conversation or think we know what’s going on, there’s usually more under the surface. This is good to remember in life and in sales because it helps us keep an open mind and maybe accept someone’s response with a little more grace.
I believe the art of listening is the key when it comes to selling ourselves. So, its hardly melding ourselves into what others need but being willing to be empathetic in different circumstances. Our finiteness will keep us from being everything for everyone. Yet I agree that learning to be “good with people” does require us being able to adjust to the different people we are interacting with.
Great post, I think it’s a really good example of the importance of empathy no matter where you think the other person is coming from.