Sandler’s Principle No. 43 “You don’t learn how to win by getting a “yes” you learn how to win by getting a “no.”
In this book as well as To Sell Is Human there is great emphasis and advice on approaching sales as going for the no, and enjoying the yes’s. To paraphrase, Pink says something along the lines of “every no you get is one no closer to a yes” I love this principle as I believe it helps alleviate the burn-out seen so often in salespersons and encourages greater buoyancy.
It also reminded me of a book that I read this past summer and am re-reading now as I prepare for graduation: Necessary Endings by Dr. Cloud. Below are my key take-aways from the book. I’d highly suggest you read it for yourself as the book teaches us how to more successfully metabolize endings (like getting a no when working with a client) and use them to push us forward.
1) Things end.
“…endings are a part of life. they are woven into the fabric of life itself, both when it goes well and also when it doesn’t.” pg. 6
2) Endings are natural and needed and should be made normalized.
“Just time and activity alone brings more relationships and activities than you have time to service.” pg. 47
3) It’s easy to get stuck BUT pruning leads to thriving.
“But sometimes people get stuck in a type of misery in which they are prone more to inaction than action.” pg. 58
4) A lack of action is a decision.
“Time is working either for your or against you in terms of your needed ending. If you are stalling or waiting, then you are tacitly agreeing to more of what you already have or worse.” pg. 150
5) You attract what you are.
“The clearer and kinder you are in your communication of endings and bad news to people, the better the people you will find yourself surrounded by in life and work.” pg. 209
BONUS: Metabolize experiences and create closure for what you leave behind.
“Keep what is usable to you, and eliminate what is not…The pain, the bitterness, the feelings of failure, the loss and grief, and the resentment all need to be eliminated and left behind. But left behind consciously as opposed to just denied and forgotten.” pg. 217
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This is such an important lesson for salespeople to learn and unfortunately, it’s one that takes many people a very long time to grasp. It opens up so many new doors, not only in sales but also for life in general, when we learn to accept and learn from “No’s.” Getting a pat on the back may feel good, but ultimately it doesn’t make you a better person. We grow and prosper when we accept our failures and learn from them. Great post!
Great post Chloe! There are some really good points in this. A lot of the time it is worse to get no answer than it is to get a no. I specifically like the point, “A lack of action is a decision.” This is something that is good for me to remember because I am not always the most decisive person. I have trouble with this concept so these are good points to remember.