Never Split the Difference – Beware “yes” – Master “no”

The 4^th chapter of Never Split the Difference is called “Beware “yes” – Master “no” and is all about the difference between yes and no in a sale. In this chapter, Chris Voss references a very popular negotiation book called Getting to Yes. In response to this book, Chris Voss recommends that negotiators instead try to get a “no” out of the other person early on in the negotiation. Why would he recommend that?

Chris says that getting the other person to say “no” gives them a certain level of safety and respite that isn’t found in “yes.” He feels that the “no” provides other party a sense of control, so instead of them feeling like they are entering your world, you are entering theirs. This is where you want to work, and lines up perfectly with what prof. Sweet said in class. Increase your power by reducing it.

Because of this, Chris recommends getting to “no” fairly quickly. When starting a phone call, try saying “is this a bad time?” This phrasing will get them to say no compared to if you lead with “are you free?” Chris also recommends using the power of no to get a response from a coworker who may be ignoring your emails. By saying “have you given up on this project?” the coworker will both say no and be put in a position where they have to take responsibility for the project. If this phrasing seems rude, just remember they have been rude by ignoring your emails. Your message may be direct, that doesn’t mean its rude. 

Remember, “yes” is the final goal of negotiation, not the first. Pushing for yes is a common sales mistake that makes the customer suspicious. Famous examples of this are sale calls that start out with an obvious question. “Hi Mr. ________, do you like water?” This is just a cheap way to get a yes. Instead, you should aim for a no.