In the 5th chapter of Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss remembers a time when him and another negotiator were working with a Philippine commando who had an American hostage. This commando had an extreme hatred for surrounding countries and often brought up the idea of war damages from these countries. This was an extended negotiation where the commando wanted to hurt the American hostage, but eventually the commando let his guard down and the American was saved. After the American was rescued, the commando called up Chris and told him that his employee should be offered a raise. He said that somehow Chris’s employee had made him not want to harm the hostage. How did he do this? By triggering the two golden words, “that’s right.”
Chris Voss recommends getting to “that’s right” more than any other word in a sales negotiation. By getting a “that’s right,” the other party is recognizing that you understand them and that you are on the same page. It’s a huge trust builder. In order to trigger these two words, you should use both paraphrasing and a summary. Paraphrasing is a technique that makes sure you are understanding the other party correctly. In order to know that you are hearing someone correctly, try rephrasing what they just said. You’d be surprised how many times you are off. Just say “so it seems like you’re saying…” and then paraphrase what they just said. You will either be correct, or they will say you’re not there yet. A summary is similar, but more of boiling down the argument and getting to the root emotion of the issue.
“That’s right” is golden, but beware “You’re right.” “You’re right” is a trap, because it’s what everyone wants to hear. When a client says, “You’re right,” they know what’s going to happen next. You’re going to smile, be happy at being right, and then get off their butt, which is what they really want. They are giving you a fake win to get you out of their hair. Always go for “that’s right.”
BoweryJE22
It is interesting to recognize the difference between two simple phrases such as “that’s right” and “you’re right”. This is really good advice not just for sales but also for life in general. Instead of giving your friends what they want to hear, try to understand them and be able to say “that is right”. The golden words.
It is cool to see the idea of getting the other person to understand you are on the same page and also that you are listening. This really develops a good bond between seller and buyer and creates trust.
I was scrolling by and the name Chris Voss seemed very familiar. I realized that he is from an ad that is targeting me. It’s telling me to buy his “master class.” Not going to lie, it seems pretty interesting and now you might’ve sold me on it! You did a good job articulating what this looks like. I can see someone doing this. I usually say, “right, right.” But “that’s right” does seems more empathetic. Very interesting article.
This is a great explanation of how subtle changes in wording can have a huge impact in how your’e perceived. Being mindful of how you phrase things could mean the difference between closing a sale, and having the customer walk away.