When talking through Mattson’s core concepts, Sweet touched on us needing to think through the real you versus the role you. We are all made up of two entities. One is our identity – our self-concept, our self-worth, our ego; the other is the roles we carry in life- our role as a husband, a father, a mother, a salesperson, a closer, a business owner, a prospector, etc. Without formal training, most of us do not know how to separate our identity from our roles. One reason for this difficulty is that from the time that we were born our parents, teachers, coaches and society told us that success in life is achieved by jumping a bar and success is maintained by continually raising that bar. We were taught to believe that success is measured externally by what society thinks of us, not internally about how we feel about ourselves. In other words, much of our growing up consisting of jumping a series of bars to prove we had worth.
When we made a successful leap, we were then lead to believe we were worth more. On the contrary, when we failed, we got the under current message we were worth less, not as a role performer, as should have been, but as a human being. As time went on, we mistakenly accepted “role” failure as “personal” failure, or what we consider “identity” failure. You see, society has taught us a very simple rule. Society says that how we perform in our roles should dictate how we feel about ourselves. And we can’t listen because we know that our identity is in the perfect and flawless Jesus.
BoweryJE22
There should definitely be a separation from the real you and the role you. It should not be a complete change in character and personality however. But a more introverted person may act much more extroverted when selling, in order to make better connections with the buyer.
This is such a key lesson to learn, not only in sales but in life. When we can’t separate our personal worth from our education or career, we’re always going to be disappointed and frustrated! Separating the role you and the real you is not only critical to our success but also to our mental health.
people often have a hard time disconnecting the business side and the personal side. for a lot of people, their work is their life. this is one of the reasons I wish I lived in France.
Distinguishing between the real you and the role you is very important and allows for a lot of growth and reflection. The disconnection between these two is relieving and for me personally I am an introvert, but when I am around people I can be an extrovert.
This principle is absolutely key in sales and in business as a whole. You are not your failures and you are not even your successes. One must separate themselves from their role in sales. You are not bad at being you if you struggle sometimes to make a sale. You can be a great salesperson and hit a dry spell and not make a sale for a while. Either way, keep your head up and know that you are valuable.